cried like a small baby again this eve. something in me snapped and i felt the loss of my relationship so deeply .(a-fucking-gain?!?!?) like someone uncorked my solar plexus and every ounce of sadness gusshed out.. when is this shit going to be over? i still think a smoke would feel unreal. i almost had one of lala's 'new' brand... i know it's *cleansing* and shit,(to cry..not smoke) but the anger underneath is like a fire in my belly that causes me to want to act out within these outbursts..like fire off really nasty emails or call and yell.. of course i didn't,(don't ever actually...'cept around d.) went to les duex instead.met dj's Ben and Jereme. sweet sweet( little) boys