wrote the longest post
today i wrote the longest post;only to lose it as i posted it.don’t feel motivated to write at all. i’ve been home al night. didn’t go to the bday party. dk bagged out ,so did dp. i am so tired but i ‘m having the hardest time sleeping. as isolated as i am these days, […]
mission for today
mission for today: i am going to spend the day redesigning my own site, no work.WHY oh why did i take a job redoing a freaking online furniture store. how much is that going to SUCK-ahh free furniture will be good. although it won’t pay the rent
last night
last night, although exhausted beyond beyond, i had the nicest dinner w/ ss. she and s broke up and it seems like a really good thing. it was just one of those relationships that i thought(judgmental me) was ‘off’. they were both awesome. but he is so much older and she didn’t see how great […]
life is getting so weird
my life is getting so weird. i went to the lc this am, had breakfast w/michelle and her ‘gang’ of friends. as i sat in the cabin , i thught abut being where i am . this place in my head . it’s definetly a differentt state of mind than any i have known. meaning […]
hil is back. yeah!
hil is back. yeah! can’t figure out what is wrong with me..perhaps lack of food coupled with isolation is dragging my system down. whatever. i’m feeling a bit inspired to make something of this site, now. i wonder what it is i am here to do, on this earth, i mean. feel as though if […]
good thing i can’t entertain myself
good thing i can’t entertain myself and i’m practically thirty. it’s sunday. international day of depression. why? it ‘s the intrinsic sense of impending drudgery from 13school years of monday mornings. what else.? i wonder if ishould go to the ‘party’ at les duex tom. eve. i went last week, but i was feeling incredibly […]
how annoying
how annoying. i can’t find a single thing to do. i’ve surfed and surfed and all i’ve ended up with is more wants.. ie:digital camera that works. and books and cd’s.good thing it is my birthday in 39 days.
front of the macheen
i am insane alittle right now. i know this because i am immobilized in front of the macheen and can’t decide what to eat/do/write next. hmmmmm.not such an interesting connundrum, i know. but a connundrum nonetheless. i get so much satisfaction knowing i can do anything i like.yeah
been inside almost all day
i’ve been inside almost all day and it is soo super sunny out . and i don’t care. i am not bummed that i didn’t go outside. i have a little monitor burn ,but nothing serious. got to figure out what to do with my time this eve.i need a project of some sort. perhaps […]
i am so overjoyed
i am so overjoyed to have figured out how to post this to my site that i have no idea what to write it’s sunday april 22nd. last night marked the beg. of my ‘saturn return'(what??!!) i ‘ll be 30..in 39 days. holy shit that’s unbelievable. i live alone(finally) i am working sort of more […]
*do* sumthing
i feel ready to *do* sumthing. i want to paint or finish my site, or just be creative. i get so trapped in this state, i end up organizing and thinking waaay too much. i am doing the procrastination thing by writing in here. Interseting concept:this online journal..i wonder what i am doing it for..i […]
mistaken thoughts
i had some mistaken thoughts today. i think i have them alot. i get an idae in my mind and because i think about it so much, i believe it to be true. anyway, today it was this: living here is a bit like being in highschool. you can be cool and popular one day […]