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cleaned like a true o/cd this am. mj is mia….fuck. yoga then going to mjk’s for dinner this eve. he’s making thai food. feel better today. last night i just wanted the weekend to be over. i get lonely(?) or something on the weekends. i really would like to go home for the holidays. i […]
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blah fucking blah. i am feeling sorry for myself. i am sad with pit feeling in my tummy. i am angry that i am alone and wistful. i hate being like this. i can’t stand that i still let myself be in this fucking place of darkness and pity. it really disgust me and i […]
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so confused. left rodeo to go home and wait for ch to come over and go for food. he showed up at 11 40pm…. went to swingers, but he’d already ate. then came in and ate cake and had tea. played with max. lay around blah blah. felt . . i dunno. right now i […]