Archive for May, 2002
fucking brutal weekend.
friday rodeo..then 101. sat. malibu neighbourhood shit. then cs made me aweome dinner at his awesome apartment and then we watched a movie and i slept there. woke up feeling sick as a dog. then went to 11 45 mtg met jameela there and had brkfst with lots of people -lel and his mom -ali and devo- ns2 etc etc.
then bbq at spurges. then met jameela at 101 for coffee to talk as she was blue…so was i.
all in all just sad and lonely and events out of my control that happeed added to my sadness.
fuck it
still lame about writing. b is moving into a house wit h ns.
i am having a good productive day. up met cole on larchmont . home. picked up at hs. then met paula at 101 and e came.
then home then i am running put to ch’s house.
should be a huge run. i don’t know how far that is-but i think it is like 6 or 7 AT least.
ugh i am giving myself at least 1 and ahlaf hours to do it so i can jog…
hilarious emails from mjk on the road. he’s hating europe bored and sounds ready to come home.
i miss him alot.
i m trying it all again. everything. i am starting to write ( i promise myself) more consistantly and draw and paint. make stuff.
i feel very off right now..but sort of in a good kooky kind of way. no sleep for 3 days/nights.
almost like being on acid.
a little less nerve wracking, though.
i have to go to vancouver next week – cameron is going to be there at the same time so ill be fine. stay at the same hotel and chill from there. no westvan bs.
why on earth does home still charge me the way it does.?? like i have something to prove. im okay… See?better than ok.
i mean really, my life is 400 times better than i ever dreamed it would be.
so different but so amazing,hmmmmm. how did i get here?
where do i go to now?
i mean i am staying here, in LA but spirtually ..where now?