Archive for March, 2005
feeling good . free and single. i realize how constrained i felt and how much i of my irritablity comes from feeling smothered, whether or not im being smothered is subjective..but in my mind i felt totally backed in a corner. i cant stand that.but today i feel good. a bit verging on great.
i haven’t been writing as i don’t have a laptop. this is causing me to realize how reliant i am on this dumb technology. sitting up straight,it seems, isnt an option for rambling. i guess.
well, im officially on the market for new everything: laptop, jobs and comfort. if you feel like it send all or any of the above mentioned and you will be rewarded, somehow.
this is the strangest period of my life. not the top of the strange -like if i were rating degrees of strange :this isnt the number one, but the strange feelings and shifts around my life are trippy.i wish i could explain better. it’s sorta like if you half wake up from a super intense dream…one that is very life-like with odd twists…except i haven’t fully woke up. thats a bad example -but i don’t know how to explain . i feel a little trapped. i feel a little liberated-Also .. angst and hope and fear and some other unrecognizable shite swirlling around inside me.today i went with mw to jwbn. then here for him to witness The thing in my backroom. then to ameoba . bought cds . then to terry’s. then here. maria was here. now -. feel like i need someone to talk to . but no-one i think of is right.noone that will therapize or tell me what to do with THE THING.