stuck in the wrong fantasy?

my own personal pergatory…. help Iam stuck somewhere between my old version ‘fantasies’ and new, ..yet unrealized ,ones…hence: my own personal pergatory…. And by fantasies i mean what i wish for in my life ie:” i really want to be a fireman when i growup”…it referes to what i really ‘want’ for myself and /or…
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i seem to be diggin deep into the feeling vault, probably brought on by being home and such.listen to my feelings here, if you like: Technorati Tags: canada, family, lame, life, me

being here

…to me , when i lived here, cittas was,quite literally, the center of the(my) universe…. ive been here since last week , and its ok. very quiet , and calm-save for last night..fd and i went out to cittas., of all fucking places ‘specially…with him.(?)parveen was working. and if clark or brad had been there,…
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The Used

…everythingl is funny and sad at the same timeright?kinda… went to the used at universal . seats( when we got there) were being occupied ) by some big deal, d was asking them to move…and we start into the row…as i moving past one of the girls , i say , as is my…
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jord_schick Originally uploaded by acanadian. i think i became a different person 13 years ago . when i wrote this. i wrote down 3 pages of what happened from the phone call at 8 am, up until that evening at midnight. it altered me more than any other moment in my life.i feel sad thinking…
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Visualborealis, originally uploaded by acanadian. online portfolio/reel for ArtDirector/producer, Mark Snelgrove. i : 100 coded the back end: converted media set up streaming server created flash for site. design coded tested executed maintained

so sad

so sad. i think watching him tell the world he had cancer was only like, ..i dont know…but not very long ago. .he was canadian and he worked for my grandfather. and i liked his voice. and i smoke. and my dad is dead , from cancer. fuck.


ever.i feel hot and lonely and annoyed and aware and underwhelmed by people. i feel like people think im really stoopid and i guess it may be that i’ve let them think that ; because the behaviours i get thrown are bizarre for grownup people.maybe its just mercury, but i dont think so.i do think…
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