Archive for January, 2006
hmm. i feel weird. ( when do i ever not, eh?) i can definetley trace its roots today, though.
Its all this shit flying up since i decided that I would reorganize my financial and ‘responsibilty” style.
As in: take a good, hard (scary) look at everything that comes in and goes out-
and remove the fear through knowledge..(?) and eventually ( as in weeks end) have setup a personailzed, simple system for organizing all these sorts of things in mylife: tasks and bills and receipts and invoices, phonecalls and emails….FUCK- …with the desired end result (hopefullY) being: a far greater peace and serenity within me, ..cause this shit affects me on deep-ass levels- it is my nemisis..I m immobilized and racked with fear whenever it is looming…and i always feel like i need to lie down.
which is what ive tended to do in the past..lie down .
but not of late. im really attempting this full on.
this shit is my last big thing. it ties me up in knots.
i want to be free of all the hidden anxieties in my world.
O k, enough on the problem…what am i doing to transform in this area?
well i ve been inspired by this guy over the last few months..very much. and so last night i downloaded( payed dwnld, btw) this from the GTD guru.
The other night, i randomly….no..not randomly-i forgot: random doesn’t exist …..so anyway..i guess i was ‘drawn’ to turn the tv on , at an odd hour – and guess what (who)? was on Oprah ‘confronting’ the most recent blahged about topic here(and everywhere) james frey. The thing that struck me, is that oprah , seems to be behaving like she was ‘confronting’ mr.frey out her own humiliation…which comes off kinda looking weak. i mean the guys fucked, everyone sees it. but this appeared, to me, like an unnecessary human attack.i dunno..maybe it was just for ratings…but come on..the hard hitting questions from Oprah like ;“Were there one or two root canals , james…just answer the question….one or two?” thats lamo-rama, Oprah.I fully concede to his lameness in what he lied about about how he fronted and especially acting such a pompous ass- i even wrote a HUGE rant at him , but now…i kinda feel bad for the what seems overkill on the punishment of a person already taken down.My take at this point is that he is just a smart-ass who hadnt allowed for alot of spiritual growth ( up to know- cause you know he’s going through some heavy forced spiritual growing at this point-)-with an oversized sense of importance i mean, if you read (listened) to “hisbook”-and especially if you’ve ever been in recovery, or have gone through you’re own darknight and come through…you’d have a sense of his impossible grandiose attitude and would have had a sense (or i did anyway) of how he was setting himself up for some sort of fall- via the air of conquering something that (seemingly) needs a spiritual awakening for any conquering at all to happen, led me to feel likehis path of ‘awakening’ was not complete- Now I think Oprah needs to check in with why shes so vehemently chastising another human -the end dialogue . was somewhat redeeming , for both of them..iguess.. kinda like Oprah won , though.Personally i just dont think the public attack in the way they did it was very graceful or ‘oprah-ish’NOt that ANY of this is important to my life, other than something to one (or two) off blah-g about…addiction, coincidence, flake, Frey, fuckinEh
Or "how James frey Stole My Future husband" You see..when that shit book originally came out- and everyone was raving about (and buying) James Freys :
“ .. shattering, beautiful memoir, A Million Little Pieces,"Basically , i saw it as being personally dream- jacked Read More
to become a fucking awesome person that is super rich in every aspect of the term rich?
well, first lets look at the assininity of timepassers that hold us locked outside of the great world of plenty…how manytimes a day do you find yourslef pondering ~
“what do you call male lady bugs?” or ” why do people always give me the dumbest questions for my blog?”~far far too manytimes, im sure.
So, stop it. right now.
Sure, there may be answers to these questions..and you may even be the one to find them; but i can promise you , they aren’t getting you anywhere near where you want to be.
So , again, i reiterate:stop it.
From now on, everytime these aimless queries comeup, grab hold of your genius brain, and pull a switch aroo on them: turn them into signposts that you are nowhere you want to be and its time to do something more productive and relevant towards gettin rich or famous . Ask not “what of the male ladybug” but “what of me and my unrealized awesomeness?”
NOW:hurry and go forth and Propel yourself into the glory and kingdom that all the rich dudes live in.
ps: i wrote this to myownself. it’s a reminder , so to speak…as in when im finding myself editing old posts …waxing poetic over days goneby..
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yes indeed.lets kick some bass behind closed doooors.
i remember being in grade nine, during springbreak..i was in whistler, at my parents-with a few girls staying w/ us for the vacation..there was also a group of boys, staying down the street with the dewolfes…
its going to be different this year. Really. I’m almost finished writing out my manifesto or whatever gayness you’d call it. sort of the overview of what lastyear was( and wasnt) and what this year will be .
d s making fun of the fast that both he w and i had such old person resolve to wipe away the past year and equated the cleanslate vibe as a sign of old age. perhaps it is. but last year was a non year for me. it was the most non year i ever had. i accomplished nothing. i had no great tragedy nor feats. It was the worst year of my life in many ways. edit
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hollywood blvd
Originally uploaded by acanadian.
yesterday, unbeknownst to me..was aholiday?so due to that fact…and cause i was getting over being sick-i kinda had a free day. it felt like a professional day from school…All kickass open obligation free-timmmmeee..yes.
I decided id try out some stuff i had left sitting in wait for a long while…so being the new year and this being Allison vs.2.0(due to my attempt to heed advice from here…i methodically made a little list of things i wanted to try/do ……..
Things did not go quite as planned.
I started with photobooth, because m and i have been trying to play around with our new cameras and printers..talking about getting pictures of eachother .and i hadnt fufilled my end as of yet… So i thought id ‘quickly’ check it out ~ i hooked my canon dvcamera
up to my g5 , and began …..but, somehow, i never got any further…
Basically..i managed to delve deep…. ~into my own narcissism.
I mean…are you kidding with this shit??…i spent HOURS getting just the right shot. Examining every crease and freckle..
creating makeshift tripods
( all being of the completely unstable variety, due to frantic style fanatiscm over getting the right shot….’we’re losing our light hurry’ ….who the hell thinks in phrases like that?? )
.. studying..practicing and posing for a variety of ~’oh! u caught me by surprise(???)’ ~shots…damn.
seriously disturbing behaviour.
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