altercationw/ter.pissed me off. not going to take shit from anyone.noone.that is over. all of it is.follow my own path from now on..wht do i want?don’t know.
seems there is nothing like this cigerette relief. total relapse. fuck. oh well. going to find something to do for me today. don’t have the patience for …much of anyone.
add-itis, i guess.
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don’t feel much
don’t feel much like writing these days..i am back home.
this afternoon. murphy picked me up. so sweet. wendy dom anthony torrencio all called .
lou also.funny how you find out who are your friends-so weird. not sad at all. tired and lethargic. feel very quiet.
house is empty. a is gone. zen house. feels clean. like i have a chance at another start.
all good things . feel hurt if i think too much. something i won’t do.
meeting ap in the am.so looking forward to that. smoked today. ahh well. i’ll stop now.
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feeling like the world
it keeps feeling like the world is pulling away from me.
my world. what i believed was true for me. i am so sure i am doing the right thing by being here and taking care ,yet as i start to feel renewed and cohesive with the world, i get sent an email
or receive a phone call -that puts the dread and fear of being “ganged up on” back in my system.
i know that i have rights . the right to have my voice heard against women when they gang up.
it is so obivious that a big huge part of my karma here on earth -is to stand up
-gracefully-
to groups of women,whom i tend to fear,
and in turn tend to turn on me.
it feels really crappy and i don’t want to do anything,
except
stay here
play records
and write
and run with my dog.
but i have a path. a personal legend, as it were. to follow and fufill in this life and these are just the omens.
some good .some bad.
i have been willing to go this fucking far
i am not letting these minor players set me back any further.
they all served amazing purposes
and now their roles are being cut out of my story…
and ..i walk forward
&go into the light -away from what makes me sad
or tired-
i start to move towards what energizes
heals & inspires my soul
and my heart+
and + i am one with the soul of the world+
this much is true;
so far so good
i say
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