i am in canada. i totally 180ed my life of late.don’t know where to start, actually: am at a cyber cafe …-costs money. just wanted to check in. staying with steve and dave, patricks friends on 7th and fir.
to dr tomorrow. good thing.
to whistler for a few days. back home after that- i guess.
so much and so little has happened.
feel underwhelmed
had 2 cigs in the last week. ok.
menthols. what???
i’ll tell all at a l8tr date.
.
180-ed my life
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woke up with fear and sadness and anger..for no reason that i can thinkof. this is horrible.
i am not into this anxiety thing.
i can’t handle it at all. what am i supposed tp do?i feel like i have over talked it w/ my few friends. i feel very alone right now.
scared .i am totally taken care of. 100%
every area.must remember this. always
*always* i am okay.
saw eckarret tolle(sp?)last night , then dinner w/a and c and ri.a andd ab.
fun.then to mark’s bday at the ll.
going to vir. mtg now. to meet t.
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l called around 8:30.he cme over. when he walked in it was as though no time or bad stuff had passed between us. i feel so deeply connected to him.in agood safe way.i have a clue as to what the purpose of our relationship is..or what it was.it is very powerful though.
i made amends to him. we walked and talked and he gave me the pg cd. felt a little pain but reallly good having done it. cleaned up something.
went and met ab and ap at LC. fun. to tha firm after..dj from last week . not as cute as i remembered.ahh well.kinda getting funner being single; so much possibility. talked to drunk-used-to-be-sober girl. gave her my #
life is weird. good weird , i guess. if i look at my life it is so bizarre and so unfathomable. like ab said tonight about the “beautiful peolpe”What i want from life is changing drastically right now. i no longer fit in my own perception of my life or how i’ve thought it should go.