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i cant really believe this has happened again. this dreadful fucking feeling in my gut. but what i cant really trully belive is that i am ok. i am not without alot of perspective.i see it for what it is. not too personal. although the part of me that remembers sweetness and goodness in someones eyes ,that remembers the words said, and touches etc feels shitty. i am in the middle of a very odd situation. i have just spent the last few days trying to get resolve for me. and in doing so i had to analyze the facts:somehow i have allowed a person to believe that treating me like a i am not special…is ok. even if they are sleeping with me.
he has a lot going on..yes.but i am not a a very demanding person. a visit a phonecall a returned email …whatever. common courtesy.geesh. i sound angry..but i dont think i am. just a bit sad.
it could all be so easy .and fun. and light. i am willing.
or i was willing , now i am done. its done. . i refuse to be part of this and feel like i am hanging in the corner..waiting to be invited somewhere. its weird.
the funny part is him trying to tell me how its all me?? and how i am acting crazy and all this insane talk
grow up .
learn to swim