I am so devasted by the death of the doggie Lamma-aka-Helmie- the helmunster…. …so sad that i havent been able to write a post about him and aboout how he affected me- i cant even really do it now.. but here’s an attempt: Helmie and i met during one of my saddest periods in life…and from the first tme we had eye contact: him looking up at me w/ his babydog eyes, and the pure joy he had ..whenever he saw me…saved my life- he loved me and NEVER faked he didnt.
never faltered from just wanting to “get small”
and,in my life, when shitty was shitty – it was always helmie i wanted to see.
he made me feel loved. and i cant stand that i wont see him getting all small as he pranced down the walk when i got there…or the forlorn glances when i was leaving..
Helmut Lohner i love you and thank you dloh, for bringing helmut into my life.
John Givins Creelman and me
wow..Check out the write-up in The New York Times about Jon Friend, the founder of Anusara, also my brother 
Patricks Creelmans’ teacher..
The Yoga Mogul – John Friend, Creator of the Anusara School – NYTimes.com
when my dad died of a brain tumour- the onocoligist told us the gov. would not recognize the fact that brain tumours were caused by cell phones.
despite the glaring connection :
FINALLY FINALLY …
Two pictures, that sum up the saturday evening show at at the Great American Forum, PERFECTLY:
.
AND 
The 2nd one , reposted from here
can i git a hell ya:
This is franco and Patrick- at a shoe store on 4th ave in Vancouver- they are both ignoring me.
q#2;describe your father:what was he like whe u were a child?as u grewup?
my dad was very kind and gentle as i got older, but as a child he was very gruff and grumpy and distant, i was scared of him till i was about 18. he wasn’t that present in my life(although my parents were always married)he was a workaholic- i remember him as happiest when other grownups were around-at parties etc.
he sometimes doted on me as a child-told me i was just like him-i loved that-
he was extra tough on my little brother-as i grewup he grew more passive and gentle-
its my birthday today and my dads anniversary.
it used to make me sad in a bad way , but not anymore . now, im just reflective and aware and appreciative .
oh..and a bit angry.
But in a goodway..like : ‘clear out mutherfckers..i dont need your badass attitude today, thank you very much’
My dad used to buy me flowers on my bday. (it made me feel sooo grownup when i was little)
So today ,for the first time since he died, i got sent flowers on my bday, (and funnily enough..from someone who is a bit fatherlike in my life.)
i also got a couple different renditions of happybirthday’s sung to me on voicemail.
even one live ..with real instruments(over the phone)
and a canadain “bob n doug” version, eh.
i found myself consistantly shocked by the thoughtfullness of each fonecall and nice gesture today and yesterday….-which is funny and kinda sad..because i ve always been so trusting and assured of relationships (somewhat ‘assuming’ really..That ill get the luv nomatter)but my reaction / shock today makes me see how that part of me has really been altered -which is completely due to my uncanny abilities to befriend and believe one **shitty terrible person after another **’terrible terrible shitty’ person …See,till very recently, i was the dumbass, always saying’cmon guys,,they really are just needing some frineds..they arent bad people..” then all of sudden…POOF- gone sometimes wth my ipod..sometimes with (queue the violins) a bit of my trust..BUT no more..!! . so to protectagainst such types, ive become suspicious of everyone s intentions…
**(‘terrible terrible shitty’ and **shitty terrible person’ are the unfortunately appropriate, oft used trademark references of dloh’s , to describe some of these ‘friends’i ve had in the past}
woah..dude,i m dropping scientific sized self assesments…im on fire
so ill continue :
i think im finally fucking beginning to stop caring about the shitty details that have kept me distracted from seeing the beauty of the nuances and wider perspective of what has become the landscape i live in ,
its as though i finally started to learn how to use the avid on the movie that is my life. ( excuse the hollywood -ish analogy)
my life today is not remotely what i thought it was,or would be..at all, but it feels like a fit to me, finally .
i love this picture: i was pissed about being interupted from telling dad some important stuff, apparently.