feels like..xmas in hollyweird

fending off x-mas style , but its creeping up.
The whole christmas feelings im trying so hard to ward off. i need to not get in any sort of mode at this time of year.
I used to be the biggest christmas freak, .. but now there seems no reason..my life is thin, -in the people that i feel love and deep friendship for.
family = far and few.
friends= a few great amazing ones( thank gawd)
but communication with most of them is very sporatic, as they have busy lives…and i…well, i kinda dont..
which is good. very good. just work..which i let keep me busy. but when its done..i havent a social life.
at all. its something i need to restructure. but more importantly i must look at the task at hand- how do i plan my emotional life out for the next few weeks. it feels very empty and scary to me.
ill get through but the thing 9is ..this year id really really like to do more than get through…if only cause i surely dont want to fall prey to ,this

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