re edit

i realize , in spurts , that my life is travelling on a slow steady course, its just very confusing for me.
right now, anyway. i dont understand the placement or displacement of certain people, in it.
i miss some of my friends terribly, especially after this winter and all that i ve changed.
i was so looking forward to seeing a few that didnt come tonight.
also, in talking , i realize that i dont want to know what is going on in the scope of the nanowerlds of others.
its too intense and taxing. what appears important isnt. what is important to me isnt to others and i cant make it different.
i just have to change my werld . i guess im doing that , but it feels tiring and taxing.i dont know where to start, except this inventory.
i feel invisible