soooo little

soooo little i have posted this year. so much has been going on,too. we r almost one year
i ahve applied for a c,too.went to lollapalooza this weekend- with m and dia and omo. fun. but really hot.
sat on the bus alot to keep cool. theband was really good. i felt proud of m.i guess ,although ,he has been doing this since way before iknew him- it’s like(for me) having someone reach a really cool goal in their lives and you get to be part of it in support etc. i know he reached success etc along time befor i met him- but the universe put him in my life so i could see what it was like to be creating from the source and how it all affects so many people .sometimes i think the beauty of m is that he has no REAL idea how authentic he is. he has followed his dreams and let the universe lead him via his voice and lyrics-yet he struggles with people soo much and has such a childlike way of handling his ‘fame’ it’s sweet, actually.
dlo is the same in many ways but because he has been overshadowed by the ‘lead singer syndrome’ for his whole career he doesnt see/feel his impact via fame – and so the sense of how much he is following his authentic path and how he affects the world is less obivious to him-its interseting being around these guys for this sort of observing-i try and figure out why i have these guys so deeply entrenched in my life…but it never comesclear.
if it was about me seeking to be around fame or whatever-i definetly wouldnt have drawn these heavymetal guys in- im more inclined to belive if it were about that -i would have people like lfb in my life…(j/k)
i am sure its for something more to do with authenticity despite postion socially -because i really forget who they are until i am at something like lollapalooza and they get on stage and i see the insane reactions from the’s disarming-but i forget ‘who’they r to the world because of their attitudes not because of me..i am al to aware most times of social positioning and fame…it’s these particular people who have come to be so important to me because they have never given me any moments EVER of sincerly being aware of their ‘it’ factors..i have more ego etc in my work than they do in theirs..and that is saying ALOT