trying it all again

i m trying it all again. everything. i am starting to write ( i promise myself) more consistantly and draw and paint. make stuff.
i feel very off right now..but sort of in a good kooky kind of way. no sleep for 3 days/nights.
almost like being on acid.
a little less nerve wracking, though.
i have to go to vancouver next week – cameron is going to be there at the same time so ill be fine. stay at the same hotel and chill from there. no westvan bs.
why on earth does home still charge me the way it does.?? like i have something to prove. im okay… See?better than ok.
i mean really, my life is 400 times better than i ever dreamed it would be.
so different but so amazing,hmmmmm. how did i get here?
where do i go to now?
i mean i am staying here, in LA but spirtually ..where now?