WARNING: touchy subject

touchy subject ahead:
ive been writing online since along time ago.
nothing noteworthy. just exhibisionist style ramblings about nothing.
some things have gotten me in shit, by mistakenly being read by the wrong eyes.
but…in general, over the long haul..its been therapy via purgeing my thoughts.
to no one on nothing.
but lateley ive made a rather large lifestyle choice that is seeming to be worth documenting on here..because getting clear unbiased objective thoughts on its effects is not possible.
You see.. i was sober ( abstinant from all mind altering thingyies) for over 6 years.
i m involved in a large community of sober people..all finding& helpingeachother to a  way out of some lifestyle into a another.
usually one with deeper personal meaning , on all levels.
nothing hocusy pocusy..just  how to live a life outside the trappings of selfcentered thinking.
it is a remarkable undescribable community that is filled with my friends and family.
over the last year i had a shift..not bad, just started to peice my own ideas and thoughts together for the first time as an adult, with self esteem…and came to some awesome and scary realizations for myself.;
i wasnt growing anymore..i had shut  my openvalve and was spitting out dirty water overflow…nothing new coming in on the personal developement front.
i felt stagnant..so i tried to reasses..and do certain formulaic prescriptions.
no need to go over the process..as it was mostly an internal evolution that brought me to a galss of champagne at a moet party during fashion week.
nothing right?
well, with the way my life is setup and my relationships work..this glaass of moet altered things.
some were small tilts of alteration..others seem to be big old boulder toppling avalanche style alterations.
lots of nuances involved.things are changeing in my relationships , to say the least.
getting it?
i have lots of rad coolfriendships that i have made during my sober years..what i realized last year was…i had became a. the sober girl from canada..you know friends with xxx and xyx?
oh yeah the sober girl.
ahah.
this got me.
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