because when that shit came out-and i mean the book not the truth about the books nontruths- and everyone was all over “the frank and aweinspiring” James Frey- with all his honestly about his past shameful shenanigans . – i secretly hated him and maybe even hoped something more would be revealed..
Not because i am awful and cannot stand other peoples success…quite the contrary- I am all about everyone elses success.
its my thing.really. honestly and authentically.
just not in this particular situation.
This guy bugged me. With every query of “oh mah gawd have u read “”. his story~Which was, to me, not even that well written- it had an arrogant and aloof edge hence marking it genius ..-whtevr) it all had me feeling like an embittered redhaired stepchild.
that was going to be my book-
really.
See after comeing to the releaiztion that everytime i told any anecdotes about my past i recieved stunning(horriffied) reactions. … I guess the horror of my polite canadian blondeness – recanting tales of 7 days crack runs in havana- or bonding with a few hookers and their pimps over pipes in motels on washington blvd …or the unabashedly leaving your adoring highschool sweetheart boyfriend -amid a romantic mexico vacation-for a disgusting pockmarked man who erraticly waved a gun around to make points and constantly offered to ‘blow peoples brains on the sidewalk’ if i wanted..( chivarly a la crack!)i allseems a bit sureal and ..ahem..made up. But it wasnt and telling these stories was seemed the genius route to a career as a writer..id get published become wealthy , go be the toast of the town and get myself a johnnyKnoxvillian( a johnny knock-off?) boyfirend…:I t was going to be great.
till buddy boy fucked it up.
he budged and fudged and got ahead of me and my book. sending that dream down the toilet- i mean sure i still could have written it-..but the effect i’d wanted would defiently not be happenning with his shadow looming . his roughishly handsome everyman appeal coupled with all that aloof yet honest air….l was no competion for that- i mean , i am many things- but aloof is not one,and thats what boistered mr fray i believe.
” tells the truth and as awful as it can be, the truth is what matters.”