so fucking devastated right now. just sobbed so hard as i drove around hollywood aimlessly.
was asleep on the couch when a and c walked in, he (of course), ignores me and she was a*cunt*-and i do not use this word lightly.
she has been alot lately. it’s horrendous. i feel like i am always trying to keep her from being cold and trying to figure out how to get her to like me again. it aint pretty.
the thing is -i don’t like her at all right now . she copies me. with boys and clothes&idon’t want to live with her i want us to go back to our old way and friendship.
so much more fun.
i miss * so much.
it keeps killing me. making me feel so overwhelmed with grief .maybe i am mourning other losses thru him?w
it’s soo deep and it feels like it is never going to go away. i am so scared that i am not going to have a life ever. that i’ll always feel like this and my life will be this way forever-sad, depressing , fat, boring, angry and lonely. i am so lonely .