last night, although exhausted beyond beyond, i had the nicest dinner w/ ss. she and s broke up and it seems like a really good thing. it was just one of those relationships that i thought(judgmental me) was ‘off’. they were both awesome. but he is so much older and she didn’t see how great…

my life is getting so weird. i went to the lc this am, had breakfast w/michelle and her ‘gang’ of friends. as i sat in the cabin , i thught abut being where i am . this place in my head . it’s definetly a differentt state of mind than any i have known. meaning…

hil is back. yeah! can’t figure out what is wrong with me..perhaps lack of food coupled with isolation is dragging my system down. whatever. i’m feeling a bit inspired to make something of this site, now. i wonder what it is i am here to do, on this earth, i mean. feel as though if…

good thing i can’t entertain myself and i’m practically thirty. it’s sunday. international day of depression. why? it ‘s the intrinsic sense of impending drudgery from 13school years of monday mornings. what else.? i wonder if ishould go to the ‘party’ at les duex tom. eve. i went last week, but i was feeling incredibly…

how annoying. i can’t find a single thing to do. i’ve surfed and surfed and all i’ve ended up with is more wants.. ie:digital camera that works. and books and cd’s.good thing it is my birthday in 39 days.

i am insane alittle right now. i know this because i am immobilized in front of the macheen and can’t decide what to eat/do/write next. hmmmmm.not such an interesting connundrum, i know. but a connundrum nonetheless. i get so much satisfaction knowing i can do anything i like.yeah

i’ve been inside almost all day and it is soo super sunny out . and i don’t care. i am not bummed that i didn’t go outside. i have a little monitor burn ,but nothing serious. got to figure out what to do with my time this eve.i need a project of some sort. perhaps…

i am so overjoyed to have figured out how to post this to my site that i have no idea what to write it’s sunday april 22nd. last night marked the beg. of my ‘saturn return'(what??!!) i ‘ll be 30..in 39 days. holy shit that’s unbelievable. i live alone(finally) i am working sort of more…

i feel ready to *do* sumthing. i want to paint or finish my site, or just be creative. i get so trapped in this state, i end up organizing and thinking waaay too much. i am doing the procrastination thing by writing in here. Interseting concept:this online journal..i wonder what i am doing it for..i…

i had some mistaken thoughts today. i think i have them alot. i get an idae in my mind and because i think about it so much, i believe it to be true. anyway, today it was this: living here is a bit like being in highschool. you can be cool and popular one day…

k.FINALLY got up and went to lc this am.had breakfast with the cute boy. hmmm.rejuvenating and inspiring (to get me to more of these morning meetings) feel kinda hungover today. going to an engagement party for dr and c. have no real idea who will be there..as in :who i will know. feel nervous, but…