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why i live here
i just remembered why it is i live here I mean, i used to know why.. the whole time i was living at the beach and after i moved to this place..i was constantly graateful and filled with a sense of joy-sheerly from walking to my car and feeling the air and the warmth, in…
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dirtysecret-music
>listening to that jupiter song by train(?)it gets me feelling very …dramatic. no, just ..i dontknow..something..i feel alot of things at present. it’s so nice out today. got email from ca . he is so great. i can’t believe that i get myself in these weird mind frames that cause me to think such crappy…
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heavyload
heavy loadwhatthefuckever,just uploaded this whole thingamajiggyto my site and i can’t get it to work. mutherfuchar
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beginning thoughts
these are the beginning thoughts on what i am about. what i am doing..if anyone gets the wearwithall to read any of this ..sorry. or whatever. i don’t know. i feel like i need to write and as i am in front of my machine at almost all times-of late..it seems the right medium.so here…
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breakfast w/ dk
breakfast w/ dk.nice to see him.nueroutic fuck that he is.. went to the art store and bought canvas’s and paint. on a roll w/the painting thing feel intimadated by work stuff next week.meetings on mon. and tues. new space..got to get portfolio whipped up. shit. not missing anyone.l on my mind alot. don’t know why.…
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L.A. rules(today)
feel reallly fucking happy today. the light is inspiring. la rules today.i am in no fear.well some apprehension,but healthy. a record company called about ajob to do album covers. yeah. damned cool.weird.i manifested this whole career out of nothing. a computer and some bullshitting.marvelous, i must say. i am not in ‘contact’ perse, with any…
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don’t feel much
don’t feel much like writing these days..i am back home. this afternoon. murphy picked me up. so sweet. wendy dom anthony torrencio all called . lou also.funny how you find out who are your friends-so weird. not sad at all. tired and lethargic. feel very quiet. house is empty. a is gone. zen house. feels…
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feeling like the world
it keeps feeling like the world is pulling away from me. my world. what i believed was true for me. i am so sure i am doing the right thing by being here and taking care ,yet as i start to feel renewed and cohesive with the world, i get sent an email or receive…
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emailed l. ahh well . i miss him. point blank. i …
emailed l. ahh well . i miss him. point blank. i feel better; like a pressure is off ,now that i sent an email. i feel like we were in this stand off…El Silencio. went to the lc this am. actually got there early – sat with db, who is back from nyc for the…
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woke up w/ the fear
woke up with fear and sadness and anger..for no reason that i can thinkof. this is horrible. i am not into this anxiety thing. i can’t handle it at all. what am i supposed tp do?i feel like i have over talked it w/ my few friends. i feel very alone right now. scared .i…
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he called
l called around 8:30.he cme over. when he walked in it was as though no time or bad stuff had passed between us. i feel so deeply connected to him.in agood safe way.i have a clue as to what the purpose of our relationship is..or what it was.it is very powerful though. i made amends…
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solarplexus
yesterday the pain in my solarplexus was unreal..unbearable..rendered me weepy,unfunctioning.well not completely, got out of bed, got a job doing a web site, payed some bills.seem to have super strong faith right now,a and i are getting back on track.sweet relief. i missed her , i wasn’t mad . i was hurt like a mutha…