Posts Tagged ‘canada’
This is franco and Patrick- at a shoe store on 4th ave in Vancouver- they are both ignoring me.
Originally uploaded by creelman.
while home,i had sunday dinner at marilyn & wayne’s:
with franco , darin, sarah and ava, mia and a few of her friends.. It makes me realize a few key things:
a) i grew up in a beautiful ..( STUNNING )..place, and
b) i grew up with some amazing people, who are still in my life.
conclusion =i am blessed.
on the eleventh day of november-the eleventh month..everyone wears 
a felt poppie, pinned on their clothes -and at eleven eleven am, there is a national moment of silence
( eleven minutes)and then, to honour soldiers from ww1 (all wars , i think now). this poem is read.
In Flanders Fields
In Flanders fields the poppies blow Between the crosses, row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below. We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved, and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields. Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields.
-written by Canadian physician and Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae
In Flanders Fields
so maria is here scouring out the spiders and mould i have accumulated over the terrential downpour season ,( as apposed to rainy )
havent heard hide nor hair of mom. shitty.
..yesterday was interesting/cool. i offered up my house for jken to host a brunch for jp ‘s bday here ( JP doesnt live here, he’s from the NorthEast-but as is nature of the a long healthy rocknroll careeer – he has many friends/fam in hollywood)…random nice interesting.easy.
Although..i was a little worse for the wear at the start -jken called to start seting up just as i was 30 mins into a lite sleep…**remember?i was up fixxing my PBook alll night. -i bet i looked cute ….to the cool & odd assortment of JP’s LA based friends collected in.. friends/fam from varying tours arrived..No biggy , really, if it had been only these…a and d , dcr and his new friendee and t(* who , i just found out, lives in the same building as the BLACK DAHLIA lived in….how bill curtis cool is that?) kit wes….jk ab dloh etc….but there was one guitartech that arrived ..and seeing as i only ever seethese people at concerts …i was a little taken aback ..and then a certain guitarTech INTERUPT THIS POST FOR STORY REFFERAL *the boy from 2 falls ago, who was j’s guitar tech..and at some point during beg. of tour?or reheasals..i decided was my kinda sk8tr cute…no biggie- i crush in n out all day everyday..’cept..i ,at some point,then mention it on IM while they are away ..and jk(out of boredom..or maybe cause he was mid relashionshit..so he wtd friends to be too?)anyways..he tells me to come out on the road and visit.. ( this is how a rwkstar sets up his friends) …i do..(cause thats cool trip regardless of setup..)
except i pick the fricking week they’re in minneapolis…indiana, i think? mid west , regardless in REAL winter…and upon my arrival…The guy…he…(cute sk8tr guitar tech) …never… said …one…word to me. not one. From the moment i arrived to the day i departed..not hi even.
in hinde sight..i guess.. there is something about the boss of you on tour , telling you to like some girl hes bff with, and ..well…i guess that’s prolly kinda daunting/weird and perhaps OFF putting. )..
But…as the worldturnsout….. i ended up having the best trip, i think becuase , we were in such little earnest towns. canadain-ish.no one else was out visiting, so i got to do the passes for tf and stuff. of course my fake pretend boyfriend/funniest person ever was there too(jfr)…so it was fun. But eversince this trip – i ve felt mighty awkward -kind of a lot like the homely little sister of the cool guys-around guitarTechDude…ive only seen him at their shows ..maybe 4 more times.but to see him walk in to my living room, after i was up fixing the computer all night, expecting no former present or future crushes to arrive at all…..hmm. well i ll just say this thank J H christ-uffer that i no longer have a crush – cause otherwise i would be in a pit of unrest over this.* END OF REF STORY…
but… someone was cute to me yesterday…weird strange new crush on someone maybe? i m not telling anyone ; because my dear dotting friends/family with their over zealous need to figure out why i dont “date” like them…. either get so happy im liking someone that they overdue the PUSH.(see above).ahem..or they’ll shoot it down HARD- which sucks equally. i mean who wants to date someone yourfriends think is dumb.raison nuomere trois : why allison doesn’t date.
underworld premier went w/ dlo to wes and heathersthen met ie and ls and the brkstr there. i sat outside the whole movie practically- it was cool looking just terrible seats in the front row to the left- killed my neck.i am so glad ls came – we got to hang out and smoke while they watched. she is funny.and loves ie and makes him happy. what more could one ask for?i wonder when i will have that. i am so barricaded – i am readfy for some dude to just break thru the barricades(to quote bry adams)and hiton me or something.weirdly awful-good-necasserry week. alcoholism suicide record release disconnected-ness.i feel conflicted and if step in the wrong spot i wil be blown up .i cant believe the insensitivity-or actually way beyond insensitivity-self obsessed false postuering behaviour of some.it saddens me to no end. i want things to be good and happy- moments like how i felt in qc. perfect able to be present feel joy in the moment and full odf love for evryone around me and gratitude for being where i was.i dont think this is unattainable- i just think so many others think it is that i forget that i can be happy at any chosen moment. i am disatisfied with my life in many areas after coming back from canada- i want to be inspired to do authentic stuff that i love-from my cells-like those around me- but the problem is i think my path is about love and service – cause the only thing i thrive in -is listening and understanding and showing different ways to people. fuck- i dont know what i am talking about- i do know that i miss people again. i stopped missing people a long time ago- perhaps out of self protection and part outof having unmissable people around. but now i do; i miss my dad. alot. i thought about him so much in canada it hurt my stomach . but i think missing people is indicitive of a void in my life- a lack of intimacy maybe- no i am intimate with a few people- i am definetly unguarded around 2 or 3 people- but never always and completely.i am scared of being really close because then…?
i am in canada. i totally 180ed my life of late.don’t know where to start, actually: am at a cyber cafe …-costs money. just wanted to check in. staying with steve and dave, patricks friends on 7th and fir.
to dr tomorrow. good thing.
to whistler for a few days. back home after that- i guess.
so much and so little has happened.
feel underwhelmed
had 2 cigs in the last week. ok.
menthols. what???
i’ll tell all at a l8tr date.
.