Posts Tagged ‘number’
guess who’s back?been feeling very creatively stifled these past few months and that coupled with the fact that i wasnt realizing the impct or scope of my daily ramblings- i shut the whole damn thing down ,but i have lots in my head and and i have lots to still write about so in this time of great fear and and serious insanity in the world..i think i am insignifigant enough that i should be able to write my toughts and ideas down here.
so there.
sitting working-really anxious about nothing and everything: dmv, paul medved ,money .
must realize everything will work out far better than if i try and micromange and stress..gotta let it go.do whats in front of me. take care of things- call mom re ie’s truck. get her to talk to eddie and his accountant. then go to the dmv to find out how much i owe and call dr to call chase and release the lease to me-nice bit of rhyming there-
feel very close to connection with universe. odd time right now(when is it NOT an odd time in my life??!!)
feel slike i’m living in a spiritualized song.cried today, finally.
feel sensitive to others energy-know i need to do something different. am scared of thinking about the new year,
must follow my instincts though. yoga.
christmas 2002 is officially over .
i’m so grateful for all the people aropund me this xmas. and for all the events that are helping me to see who i have become. i have grown out of so many of my old patterns(thank g-d)
db came over as a late night santa , wirth presents for us all. how sweet.
went to rodney mtg. shared-feels good to be part of something spiritual.
thanks to the universe
nice am. woke went to ie’s hung with erwin and cat(oops forgot his name)
then up to mjk’s to hang with those cats and fish.
then to lc ..left as i have heard the speaker before.went to meet rf and her italian diver boy/man.
at urth. then home . got the garage cleaned out finally (3 years later!!) abe and lea are moving..weird.
mw just got home.now bathing then to ie’s then sundowners.supposed to see fern at 330 or 4. hmm. i am feeling anxiety over tomorrow. mom arrives at 12 45 and i have to be at the house for all the work people at that time..
i see my life quite clearly right now. i amno longer upset about cole. i am fullof love and forgivness both for me and everyone else.
i know i am not a bad friend ’cause i have never showed up or been as present as i have been for someone as i have in the last year. i know my truth and i am ok
i pray that she is ok and that there is resolution. and love and mmore fun times ahead for us-together.
i am not freaking out like i used to..maybe because i know she is more like a sister and i REMEBER all the sweet things i felt and she said and i still believe them..i am not ready to discard any of it.
except for mjk being a party of our lives .it will all woprk out becaus ei have let it go and and can envision the joy ahead and now.
odd quiet weekend. woke sat and went met z at virgin with jam. then coffee and took jam to therapy. then met rf and her italian hottie , then to work till 1 30. then to see solaris with my husband. good . then swingers with df and mw. then movies at home. worked on choptop and eddie sites also bny site. supposed to drive dia to the airport but i SLEPT THROUGH THE ALARM!!!i cant believe it..df took her(fwwff)nice morning …went to larchmont with mw -we sat and talked for 2 hours..now we are home. goin to meet cousin and z at the 11;45 mtg.
evrything seems weird and sad. spent the day w/jam and z and they are both devasted.
so i took on some of this..also cole is very over me.
aparently i have been a really bad friend and she feels hurt and angry at me.
nothing i can do.oh well..i guess no party this eve,i cant even be bothered to call anyone about it.
i feel like its last year all over again.fuck it. fuck it.
if i was a guy i’d marry me
fer sure i would-and i’m not just saying this because i am me, either
full moon made me edgy and weird. swam naked with the girls and did yoga under the full moon. cool outside at the house. weird energy.
world around seems odd.
good-odd. – as though i am enlightened or on drugs
or sumthing.
anyway, its all weird and tones of love and undertones of awareness and shifts in relationships that are so slight yet completely obivious to me. all good. a bit nerve racking at times, but good.