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i am so sad and angry i don’t know when this is go…
i am so sad and angry i don’t know when this is going to stop i want to smoke more than i’ve ever wanted to do anyfuckingthing in my life. i’m so gaddamned irratating.(oops freudian slip?meant to say irratated..) i am supposed to be at ap’s grammy party, then to karaoke. whatever..i’m still in my…
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nics to fix
went to ns’s helped him set up computer. he is having a hard time …he and k broke up on sunday and he is struggling to work through it. i admire him very much. he is trying to do the right thing for himself and ‘grrow’ for lack of a better term… it’s awesome to…
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going out, doin stuff
looking forward to going out this eve., which is not normal (of late, anyway..);Ajp is coming over at 7:30 and we’re going up the street. then to dinner and then party(?).. if i make it that far. i am still feeling kinda weak. this illness-whatever it is- is lingering in the most annoying way.had breakfast…
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fucking fantastic weekend
what a fucking fantastic weekend i have had….thursday eve i met jk ,ie,ab, liza ,lel and ag for dinner-then ie mjk ag and i went to crazy girls(??!!) it was really fun(ny) mjk is so much fun-then spent all day friday up at his house by the pool – swimming etc.then he cam e to…
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relatively stress-less
my life feels full and good right now-it is all based on the relationships i have in my life- they are all relatively stress and maintainence free. i think this is the first time in my life i don’t have high maintainence people around me-like when i got freaked and stressed today everyone around me…
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offline
wow. been offline for a week-crazy. good to be back, but a nessacary break.too much going on …and yet… not enough at the same time…ya fel me? went to laguna for the pageant of the masters on sunday; with Leland and famille…fun nice cool. tool was here last night. in sd this eve-we were going…
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good weird
haven’t written in so long-things are weird-good weird, i guess. i have noticed how much i have actually changed through this past year . i mean i know i ‘grew’ or whatever. but i am aware that , organically , i am different-my actual responses and actions and motivating factors are totally new and different.my…
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happiness
feel so much happiness right now-slept in -parties were lame. i was very shy as usual and felt awkward at the aids thing-then we left and went to the big party- someone at the first party asked me to go hear their friends band play at the martini lounge..ambrsea. how odd and random. would have…
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jlh leaving LA
jlh spoke this am. it was so sad and happy . i am so happy she is my friend. i trust her . ie was really upset and it was touching.brkfst at the coffee house, now to cb then jlh’s for one last gd’bye and then taking irwin and max on a walk and then…
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jlh is leaving today
jlh is leaving today-helped her move yesteday. had dinner with all her friends-then i drove mi home and went to plant of the apes at universal i max with ie and billy and draven. we had fun.i wasn’ going to go, but ie ‘persuaded’ me and i ‘m glad idid. even though i didn’t get…
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i am nuts
i am nuts-i feel like my mother is going to make me have a nervous bdshe doesnt do anything-it’s the buttons she pushes(she INSTALLED) by ……….breathing..
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so much
so much -going to sb this weekend . mom is her. max staying with jc -i am a bit insane with everthing and everyone-but i feel good-saw et and b this am at urth. feel good. like i am free of something enormous. i am ready