went for dinner with mjk and jen and his dad and a bunch of other friends of theirs from az. sooo good to see mjk. i missed him soo much. i cant believe the way i feel around my friends sometimes. the hapiness just floors me. i feel full. ns and cr were there too..cr…

sunday morning with hil…went to market on larch got kettle corn and mags. taking a day off from excersice. fewf. i have probably run about 30 miles in 5 days. or something like that. my poor knees. went to the mtg this am. pretty good. brkfast with trevor and micheal and scott and ss and…

ahhelp my site is fucked up

ok so if u read all the last 5 enteries it seems a bit like i am vacilating. but what is happening is this: i let things slide , i take the blame for other peoples behaviour all the time. i assume the role of the crazy one or the dramtic one. i ‘m not…

what?

i cant really believe this has happened again. this dreadful fucking feeling in my gut. but what i cant really trully belive is that i am ok. i am not without alot of perspective.i see it for what it is. not too personal. although the part of me that remembers sweetness and goodness in someones…

so much good stuff right now. i feel happy and full of energy. went to malibu last night. fun. then dinner w/ lala and dk and ns. i had such a nice night. dont feel scared or weird or all those yucky things that i felt before when i quit smoking. feel overwhelmed when iit…

these are the questions posed to me from my linkdup pal through blogger insider. 1. What made you decide to quit smoking? found out that it was all a lie….also,vanity and health and relationship with nonsmoker was getting touchy cause of my smoking. How long had you been a smoker? 16 years How long since…

hmm. revelation of the day:i don’t think i should try to be part of ch’s life unless invited. i see my part in acting like a freak. i got overwhelmed with not smoking and not feeling ‘protected’ or whatever.. anyway i put alot of shit on him last night that he didnt deserve-at all. poor…