oldtaint

sadsap
Stories

the strangest period of my life

this is the strangest period of my life. not the top of the strange -like if i were rating degrees of strange :this isnt the number one, but the strange feelings and shifts around my life are trippy.i wish i could explain better. it’s sorta like if you half wake up from a super intense […]

Read More
blahg
Classics

i’m back

ive got a lot alot alot to learn.ive decided to write in here again because it may be my only form of perpsective to come.blah periods abounded throught winter/spring. shifts seems to be coming though.having a sleepover this eve and am hiding downstairs so i can write out my insane thoughts.mom is visiting.ah-hah. issue number […]

Read More
blahg
oldtaint

odd quiet weekend

odd quiet weekend. woke sat and went met z at virgin with jam. then coffee and took jam to therapy. then met rf and her italian hottie , then to work till 1 30. then to see solaris with my husband. good . then swingers with df and mw. then movies at home. worked on […]

Read More
blahg

solar plexus

this week has been like the opening of my solar plexus..i cried so hard and felt like it would never stop. i can still feel the feeling in my tummy of overwhelming grief..but it’s distant and calmer now. i howled like a dog yesterday. the hurt was deep. i felt like i finally realized how […]

Read More
angry?
blahg
oldtaint
sadsap
Stories

i dont like this

odd weird sad feeling has struck ..or crept up on me this saturday afternoon.awesome visit with mj at fred segal..lunch shopping (bought myself grossly overpriced sunglasses.)he bought me some awesome sexy perfume.ss came over later we shot the shit etc.but now i am here and it is sunny and inbetween day and night..nuthing to do […]

Read More
blahg
Classics

my g-damned book

sign my godamned gbook please. am sitting home , sat eve. dinner at the indian place. yum. ch is here. guess where? i just went to the video store and rented a few videos- funny thing- i have not done that in years…years LITERALLY link to my old g-book-wow

Read More
blahg
Classics

good weird

haven’t written in so long-things are weird-good weird, i guess. i have noticed how much i have actually changed through this past year . i mean i know i ‘grew’ or whatever. but i am aware that , organically , i am different-my actual responses and actions and motivating factors are totally new and different.my […]

Read More

a lil structure, perhaps?

so iam going to start having themes for my writing each day. or each week. i guess . noone else reads this, so it wil be about my experiments with myself and my life and my faith in myself.starting tonight:creating what i want…ie:manifesting.okay so, i’m going to do these affirmations .i am going to meditate […]

Read More
Stories

want to smoke

tired . had a really great day.not such a great evening. tired and want to smoke…eating instead. will be fat person , i guess. no i ‘ll smoke before i get really fat. or i’ll go to rehab for food addiction . that sounds nice.. 28 days at a nice rehab.. relaxing, going to ‘group’, […]

Read More
Stories

weird nice

dk and i walked up the street ,got coffees and then we walked down to some little used book store and he made me pick out 5 books. it was so nice. weird nice. like the kind of thing you do with a new boyfriend but you are so giddy you miss half the experience..but […]

Read More
angry?
blahg
Classics
oldtaint
Stories

so sad and angry

i am so sad and angry i don’t know when this is going to stop i want to smoke more than i’ve ever wanted to do anyfuckingthing in my life. i’m so gaddamned irratating.(oops freudian slip?meant to say irratated..) i am supposed to be at ap’s grammy party, then to karaoke. whatever..i’m still in my […]

Read More