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the strangest period of my life
this is the strangest period of my life. not the top of the strange -like if i were rating degrees of strange :this isnt the number one, but the strange feelings and shifts around my life are trippy.i wish i could explain better. it’s sorta like if you half wake up from a super intense…
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i’m back
ive got a lot alot alot to learn.ive decided to write in here again because it may be my only form of perpsective to come.blah periods abounded throught winter/spring. shifts seems to be coming though.having a sleepover this eve and am hiding downstairs so i can write out my insane thoughts.mom is visiting.ah-hah. issue number…
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odd quiet weekend
odd quiet weekend. woke sat and went met z at virgin with jam. then coffee and took jam to therapy. then met rf and her italian hottie , then to work till 1 30. then to see solaris with my husband. good . then swingers with df and mw. then movies at home. worked on…
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solar plexus
this week has been like the opening of my solar plexus..i cried so hard and felt like it would never stop. i can still feel the feeling in my tummy of overwhelming grief..but it’s distant and calmer now. i howled like a dog yesterday. the hurt was deep. i felt like i finally realized how…
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my g-damned book
sign my godamned gbook please. am sitting home , sat eve. dinner at the indian place. yum. ch is here. guess where? i just went to the video store and rented a few videos- funny thing- i have not done that in years…years LITERALLY link to my old g-book-wow
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good weird
haven’t written in so long-things are weird-good weird, i guess. i have noticed how much i have actually changed through this past year . i mean i know i ‘grew’ or whatever. but i am aware that , organically , i am different-my actual responses and actions and motivating factors are totally new and different.my…
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a lil structure, perhaps?
so iam going to start having themes for my writing each day. or each week. i guess . noone else reads this, so it wil be about my experiments with myself and my life and my faith in myself.starting tonight:creating what i want…ie:manifesting.okay so, i’m going to do these affirmations .i am going to meditate…
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want to smoke
tired . had a really great day.not such a great evening. tired and want to smoke…eating instead. will be fat person , i guess. no i ‘ll smoke before i get really fat. or i’ll go to rehab for food addiction . that sounds nice.. 28 days at a nice rehab.. relaxing, going to ‘group’,…
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weird nice
dk and i walked up the street ,got coffees and then we walked down to some little used book store and he made me pick out 5 books. it was so nice. weird nice. like the kind of thing you do with a new boyfriend but you are so giddy you miss half the experience..but…
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so sad and angry
i am so sad and angry i don’t know when this is going to stop i want to smoke more than i’ve ever wanted to do anyfuckingthing in my life. i’m so gaddamned irratating.(oops freudian slip?meant to say irratated..) i am supposed to be at ap’s grammy party, then to karaoke. whatever..i’m still in my…