8234971
trying to figure out tooo much shit. why do i live here? i wish i was on my way to a tropical paridise to swim and surf and eat fruit and meditate and write and relax . i feel disconnected from g-d. what is up with me/ lack of cigarettes,combined with pms?
8233022
i am definetly over the way this is at present. i fthere is not a huge shift in the next few days i am out. i did not get sober and work through all this shit to get here in a place where i feel compromised. am i being true to myself?
8232919
hmm feeling blue. yesterday felt sorta sick all day. wondering if this situation is all there is or if it is going to get better. i do not like the way things are going at all. feel locked in myself and very frustrated. when i think about what i want i cant seem to get […]
8217795
test
8211488
just lost a huge post…so bummed. weird xmas. no big parties for me. just lo-key-attempting to quit smoking ugh hard not very fun to be with
8179265
it’s been a long time hours since i smoked. a long time. i feel weird. giddy almost and full of fear and ecstactic. this alteration of my life will prove to be enorous on many levels i am sure i just have to committ to not smoking no matter what not smoking no matter what…ch […]
8147742
slept poorly allnight. feel a bit “hungover’ from lack of sleep. good am, though.larch w/ hil-got some presents. cs came by dinner last night and brought me a present: the dead box set…UNBELIEVABLE. it is so awesome.he is the best present giver ever. weird day.feel ok, but a little like i did something wrong in […]
8132096
damn site was down for a whole day-so sick of this hosting company:onedollarhostingSUX k.that said i am going through some sort of transformation…felt feelings this past few days but i am centered enough and close enough to YKW to see it as my perspective being askew and old things cropping up. very interesting when i […]
8088946
such an odd day..like reliving my biggest fears and feeling real happiness at the same time. so odd.
8077914
lc this am. ch came with. coffee with lel.good to hang w/ him..as we haven’t seen much of each other. of late. worried sick (well that is an exaggeration…but close) about $$$. or lack of. noone is paying me..i feel so frustrated having to borrow 4 from home when i am working soo much. it […]
8066200
one year ago today..i was kissing with l. weird . not sad, just odd. i was tinking about quitting smoking(as i am now) and in mad crazy obsessive lust with ykw. now i am at home, on the computer i bought a little less than a year ago-the ever trusty beautiful g4. with the fancy […]
8023706
feel weird right now..verging on sad. no reason, except maybe xmas and not being at home and not feeling very xmassy. i should get a tree or something. just me and max, i guess. invited to lots of places for the day-will go to my cousins for day part. see lala and anyone else that […]