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what is really going on for me?
what is really going on for me? i am scared out of my mind. i am scared of not getting legal working freedom in the us. i am scared of not ever having enough money that i earn to pay back my mom and pay my own bills all the time easily . i am…
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so nice to see ie
so nice to see ie!!!he just drove me home from the mtg. ad was there had a good smoking convo. ugh. she is good for me though. cause i think we smoked for the same reasons. hmm. i am a bit nervous about today and not having a car to do all this shit.i’ll figure…
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everyone is home
everyone is home or enroute. feel very good. had a nice visit with hil. talked to ns and now organizing for tomorrow. cant hardly figure out what to do first!clean redecorate cook paint …..should be fun. i feel so clear as to what is really going on now. i am just having feelings and they…
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hawaii- now vegas
hawaii to be cont. when i am settled. didn’t sleep the first night home- or the next day-went to rodeo saw cute boy. dinner for cr’s bday at musso and franks…bw dk ns mjls hh etc. then went to sleep fina-fuckin’-lly then slept all am then to larchmont then everyone left for vegas for the…
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brother is here.
brother is here. have yet to see him. spent the a.m. with brent at the hospital. i don’t know why i feel so okay with being there. i am not scared of that enviroment- i am scared of boredom and what that does to me,essentially.how do i get to a place of prespective. purpose and…
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fall 2001-post tool
it’s friday and i slept almost all day..got home around 2 am, the show last night was amazing. went with ie and hil mj ag ra lel etc. all of la was there-our whole section was “comp ” seating-mjk made some funny refrences to the hollywood vermon. saw et , finally met her friend robin,…
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so much fun stuff
so much fun stuff coming up- janes addiction, nico bady-lou’s bday-tool-hawaii…oh my goodness, i am excited. this eve i have to go to a burberry store party w/ jg..but it will be over early -then dinner w/ah and hil(?) and then dancing!! yeah.
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nics to fix
went to ns’s helped him set up computer. he is having a hard time …he and k broke up on sunday and he is struggling to work through it. i admire him very much. he is trying to do the right thing for himself and ‘grrow’ for lack of a better term… it’s awesome to…
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going out, doin stuff
looking forward to going out this eve., which is not normal (of late, anyway..);Ajp is coming over at 7:30 and we’re going up the street. then to dinner and then party(?).. if i make it that far. i am still feeling kinda weak. this illness-whatever it is- is lingering in the most annoying way.had breakfast…
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feeling
feeling much anxiety;like i do not know my place in the world and it scares me to no end. i wonder f it is the time of month coupled with my mom with everything else that is going down. i am going to be thirty in one month., that doesn’t freak me out. what freaks…
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urth for breakfast
went to urth this am w/ m. cute boy there. sooo cute. last week,at dinner, dp said that i was worse than any guy she knew in respect to checking people out.. hmm, i really never think of myself that way. but i guess i am . i mean i am single. but i ‘m…
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wrote the longest post
today i wrote the longest post;only to lose it as i posted it.don’t feel motivated to write at all. i’ve been home al night. didn’t go to the bday party. dk bagged out ,so did dp. i am so tired but i ‘m having the hardest time sleeping. as isolated as i am these days,…