BEFORE READING :
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“A lie, by omission or directly fabricating .. leads people to decide other than they would, had they known the truth,It harms their human dignity and autonomy.It is believed that to value ourselves and others as ends instead of means, we have perfect duties (i.e., no exceptions) to avoid damaging, interfering with, or misusing the ability to make free decisions;”
So in my life.. I ve been, (on more occasions than anyone would like to admit) a liar, a cheat a thief and an asshole-To Lots of people….Probably to some reading this.. and this is written for you, dear person whom i may have emotionally violated in this way .. it’s payback time:i got got. Big time.The last four months i have been living under a delusion created not by me.. ( for once) but by a sweet, sexy ( to me, prior to knowing the truth) superb master equivicator*..A Fiendish.. Master of manipulation and Creator of False-Mess.( love that term:”False-Mess”)And , after figuring it all out..i had the atypical ‘woe is i ‘ reaction:..i was a bit precious ( so to be expected..i AM a girl..had THE pms..coupled w/ some strong feelings for this liar))You know :weepy sad/ ..aghast/angry .. etc etc..But then , just as quickly as i was struck with the duality of the situation… a Phenomenon of unknown proportions has hit me..as i think about theLiar and his LyingLies.. I start laughing .. real-sincere-will-ferrel-dvd-watching-laughter. ..as i recall details and situations from the past few months- and i realize they were sooo not what i thought they were.. i don’t get sad/angry or heartachey..Like i thought and feared i would..Instead i start with the laughing( on the inside, mostly) ..I mean ..cmon.. what this poor liar must have been going through. the stress and pace of the lifestyle to maintain the lies.. must have been ( probably still is..) Enormous.This part is so heady.. the part about our ‘connection’ being completely one sided **(c below),so it seems, that it has caused me to supercede most typical sadness to fascination and admiration for the Liars abilities and skill at maintaining for such a period, at such depth.I am in awe of the masterful way it was spun to me.. it was impeccable.. i mean..Who was this person.. whom i had somehow chosen to open up to on that ’emo’ level..?( -note to self: remember that romance is a fictional thing)It was the ultimate turn of the universe’s trump card.For all you i did wrong.. i am sorry and i get it…..to be continued..** this point is a bit sad still, for me.. but i think i should be able to smoke through it ..