i am officially insomniatic(sp?)
i am officially insomniatic. 5 days w/out sleep. its insane. i just went for a swim..all misty out and shit. cool.my hearing is shot. its like i was at a concert last night and they (my ears) are still ‘ringing’ cept the ringing is loud and fuzzy and sharp-all at oncedont know quite what to […]
its not like i wasn’t warned
feel odd. havent reallly slept the last few days..a lot on my mind, i guess.or not enough maybe?good weekend..as sent me an email wondering what was wrong…i didnt have the strength to tell her i knew what she had said about me. i am already so hurt and perplexed by all this. hil and i […]
picked up mjk and ie at the airport
sunday i [picked up mjk and ie at the airport..then mjk and i hung out at the house. went to dinner with a fun group on sunday bh and dravens nephews camwe. dl was there..(swoon) ns hil ls ie Very nice to see Ls as ie has seemingly sequestered her to his place for months […]
solar plexus
this week has been like the opening of my solar plexus..i cried so hard and felt like it would never stop. i can still feel the feeling in my tummy of overwhelming grief..but it’s distant and calmer now. i howled like a dog yesterday. the hurt was deep. i felt like i finally realized how […]
dinner a the ivy.
went down to the beach last night- after an awesome dinner a tthe ivy. stayed out there..then came up and went to the cabin. going to have brunch with ie and ls and hil hopeflly. then holiday sales shopping. then to the beach as cs lent m ehis bitchin place for the weeknd.how kind and […]
oh mah gawd
jk sent me this this am..OH MAH GAWDfree francis bean.
felt sick again today.
felt sick again today. shitty i am so over thisslept a long stint of the aafternoon away..only eason i got up was because mom was here and i had to .went to erewhon and bookstore ..tried to do the post office but the line was insane.whatever.i am now going to mtg. then diner with gk […]
mom is here
mom is here. awesome. doing bills then running then tea at elixir.
truelove?
re-read the truelove poem tonight. where is my hand ?????? fer fucks sake. bed without dinner
if i was a guy
if i was a guy i’d marry me fer sure i would-and i’m not just saying this because i am me, either
odd saturday
such an odd saturday. after ss left i have been alone and in a weird lonely state. ok though. i didnt reach out to anyone..so i must somehow need this alone lonely time. wrote some amends letters. feel sad about ie and ls. i hate it when people yell at me like that. i miss […]
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loneliness has crept up on me today. this afternoon. the morning was good. great infact..but all of a sudden i am sad. lonely to be exact. i am in that stage of emppty nothingness lonely pit feeling. i dont know who to call what to do to make it go away. i imagine lying in […]