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dk came over
dk came over and hung out this eve. nice to see him. walked the dog-went up the street and met p with ss mj jo and mi-went to jones’s for dinner and then i went to ns’s to help plan his trip.he’s so funny. very much a perfectionist, i think. feel alright, albeit a bit…
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lc2 this am
lc2 this am. breakfast at urth w/ jc and hil.haven’t seen hil in forever. it was very good to see her.max came with -he is having SEVERE seperation anxiety. i didn’t even get to set foot in the meeting. oh well.today i’m helping ns w/ computer shit. and maybe lunch w/ lak.or mi.
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i want to not
i want to not go to bed on a sour note. i want to sleep well and wake up with gratitude and love in my heart . i feel very vulnerable, as i have so much over the last 6 months-not weak, just open and sensitive. i want to use these lessons in my life…
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china town
went to china town -ate with wayne and mj and mike d.he’s funny. same birthday as me. went to les duex. so crowded. saw cuteboy.he’s kinda lame. everyone is right now. i don’t know what is going on with me. i am in such an odd place. i was so annoyed by people in general…
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just when
just when i feel good and as though i am over all past grievances-i get hit with something from left field.ran into vh on larchmont and came across the fact that we both knew someone in common and she was seriously crushing on him…ykw. god, i felt so weird and icky. it made me feel…
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vespa party
vespa party was a lot of fun.
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slept in again
slept in again-felt so good.ns came and took me for coffe. he said the show yesterday was unbelievable-so envious-he had an amazing day/night.sounds like-topped off with courtney love buyiung him in and out burger and flashing him her chest…crazy life.i ate with ag and mi last night then sat with mj and wayne till 2am-fun.-mellow.max…
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feeling
feeling much anxiety;like i do not know my place in the world and it scares me to no end. i wonder f it is the time of month coupled with my mom with everything else that is going down. i am going to be thirty in one month., that doesn’t freak me out. what freaks…
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who i is
These are the beginning thoughts on what i am about. what i am doing..if anyone gets the wearwithall to read any of this ..sorry. or whatever. Idon’t know. i feel like i need to write and as i am in front of my machine at almost all times-of late..it seems the right medium.so here .…
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emailed l. ahh well . i miss him. point blank. i …
emailed l. ahh well . i miss him. point blank. i feel better; like a pressure is off ,now that i sent an email. i feel like we were in this stand off…El Silencio. went to the lc this am. actually got there early – sat with db, who is back from nyc for the…
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fellin’ ok
feel okay.. woke early, went downtown w/La.then met lou for coffee,then worked out for quite awhile. now @.home,d and a are here.cleaning lady was here.everything is lovely. (clean&tidy lovely,that is..) still in gripping fear over all my situations.must meditate or something.fuckin hell. this sux sooo much. i am living like a robot. you aren’t supposed…
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so sad and angry
i am so sad and angry i don’t know when this is going to stop i want to smoke more than i’ve ever wanted to do anyfuckingthing in my life. i’m so gaddamned irratating.(oops freudian slip?meant to say irratated..) i am supposed to be at ap’s grammy party, then to karaoke. whatever..i’m still in my…